WEDDING IN HINDU

UNDERSTANDING THE RITUALS BEHIND A HINDU WEDDING

THE GIFT BEARERS carry items to implement the wedding ceremony. They form an odd-number group of ladies bearing trays containing the Paneer-set, Palagarams and Fruits, Betel-leaves and Arecanuts, the "Thaali - Koorai," Muhurtha or Kalyana Malai, hand-held bouquet (Kai Poo Chenddu) and three or five full coconuts (cleaned and dipped in tumeric­powered water etc. ).

THE VAASAL NIRAIKUDAM is the "Kumbam" placed on pad] or rice at the entrance to the wedding hall, temple/house. Placed on a head-side banana leaf (pointed to either the East or North direction), there will be two "Kutthu-villakkus" on either side with all the wicks lighted. At the tip-side of the banana leaf a "Manjal Pillaiyar" (made of thick tumeric powder paste) and adorned with cynondon grass (Arugampull) will be placed In front of same is put two betel leaves, arecanuts and two bananas.

THOLAN - is the Eastern equivalent to a Best Man at Saivaite weddings. He is usually the brother of the bride or her close relative. His main duty is to act as a companion and assist the Groom at the wedding.

AALATHTHI - is the waving of a saffron-coloured water (attained by a mixture of tumeric powder, quicklime and water) on a tray containing three lighted wicks stuck into three cut banana pieces.This is waved in a clockwise direction by two married ladies.

MANGGALA VAADAYAM - is the "Indian band" which consists of a minimum of a "Thavilkaarar" and a "Naadaswarakkarrar" (in the olden days it used to consist of a party of six persons. The "Thavilkaarar" hits on a double-sided drum - on one side using a nine inch long stick and on the other with his fingers. The "Nadaswarakkarrar" blows on an Indian reed (equivalent to a Western clarinet) about a metre in length.They only play certain melodies (Raagas and Kirthanas) associated with marriage and happiness and all are performed with the "Aalaththi and Manggalam" notes. During certain rites and rituals they sound these instruments loudly and vigorously. These loud-tempced pieces of music are required to keep off the inauspicious sounds of insects (lizards etc. ) sneezing and the normal adverse talk by people present.The bridal-party may have a number of sets of these music parties.The first set's payment is met by the Bride's side, the second by the Groom's, the third and subsequent ones by alternating between the Bride's and Groom's side.

PAVTTHRAM - is the entwining of two lengths of Kusa grass (Therpai) which is knotted to form a "love-knot" (in the form of a "figure of eight" knot). This is placed on the right-hand ring finger of the Groom whilst for the Bride, her left-hand ring finger. This is to enable them to partake in the ceremonies to be officiated by the Priest.

SANGGALPAM - is the intention and determination indicated by the preliminary ceremony to invoke the blessings of the Lords. It is here that the Priest administers the Hindu name of the Year, the Solstice Season, the Season, the Hindu Month, the growing or receding of the Moon's position, the Thithi and the Asterism (Star) at that time etc. together with the various names of the Rites and Rituals that will take place subsequently.

VIGNESWARA POOJA - is the prayer offered to Lord Ganesha as the preventer of all evils. His blessings are invoked at all rites and rituals in Hinduism in the first instance. Here He is represented as a "cone-shaped" thick mixture of tumeric powder and water and adorned with cynondon grass (Arugampull). The Priest breaks a coconut into two halves and conducts "Sooda­Aalaththi". This rite is to safeguard the ceremonies to be conducted without having any hitches.

PANCHAKAVIAM - is milk and mixture of the products of a cow in relevant portions which is considered to purify the soul and the internal organs of the body.

THE BRIDAL CHAMBER - is the area within which the Kurukkal sits and where the various Kumbams are placed.It is the area in front of the "Manavarai" enclosed within and outlined with "Kolam" bearing four entrance / exit "Doorways".

ANGURRAPAANAM is the placing of "Navathaniyam" onto a pot containing sand bearing three (3) mango leaves which is placed in front of the "Chandra Kumbam". This shall be effected by three married productive ladies (two representing the Groom's side whilst the other comes from the Bride's side).For the remaining ceremonies to go on smoothly, for a productive and a "smooth sailing life," the blessings of the "Thikku Palagars" are required. The Thikku Palagars are the Regent Deities of the four directions, viz. North, South, East and West. This gesture is an offering to appease them.

RAKSHA.BANDANAM - or "Kaappu Kadduthal" is the tying of a blessed yellow string on the right wrist of the Groom (on the left for the Bride) by the officiating priest.This is to ward off evil elements while conducting the ceremonies. It also means that they are now protected from ill­fate.

SIVA-SAKTHI KUMBAMS - these two ("kumbams" placed on the North-East side of the bridal chamber are the "Chairpersons" for the whole ceremony. In this ceremony they are referred to as the "Yaageswaran" (Lord Siva) and "Yaageswari" (Godess Sakthi).

NAVAGRAHA KLIMBAMS - This cluster of nine "Kumbams" represents the nine Planets, viz. Sun, Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.Prayers are offered to these planetary "Kumbams" to bestow their blessings, guidance and showering of good deeds upon the Groom-To-Be and to remove whatever evil influences of planets that might be present at that moment in time.

THE HOMA KUNDAM - is the sacrificial fire pit which is lighted using wood from the mango tree, pipal (arasu maram), jackfruit tree, banyan tree etc. The father (or his representative) of the Bride hands over betel leaves, arecanuts, a gold sovereign coin and a lime Bride and he "cups" her hands.The spouse dishes out water three times onto the containing the betel leaves. She then holds the hands of her husband and all th parties hand over the contents (the betel leaves etc.) Groom who receives them while standing. He then hands same over to his parents (or representatives).

KOORAI KAADDUTHAL - a married couple froi Groom's side receives "vibhuthi" from the Priest. He hand to them a tray containing the "Koorai Saree," "Thali," Gal hand-held flower Bouquets etc.This couple then "show" the contents of the tray to the imm relatives who bless the contents with both their palms.

KOORAI KUDUTHTHAL - The Priest removes the ' Garlands, hand-held flower Bouquets etc. from the tray hands over the "Bridal Saree" etc. to the Groom.Whilst standing, the Bride receives the Bridal Saree etc. fro Groom.

AATCHADAI - is a mixture of tumeric-coloured rice and flowers. Rice is our staple food. As a cereal it drops on the ground, shoots and regrows. The bud of a flower-tree blooms / blossoms and emits a pleasant smell. A mixture of this when sprinkled over the newly-weds indicates the acceptance by the well-wishers wishing the couple a long, fragrant and productive life.

THAALI KADDUTHAL - The sacred "Thali" (or Thirumanggalyam) is a symbol of the marital state of the user. It is a protection for her chastity. It also means that she belongs only to the one who had placed it around her neck. Some say that this is a "Surrounding Wall" or "fencing" for a lady where social life is concerned. There is no "Vedic Mantras" as such when the Groom "ties" the Thali around the Bride's neck. Thus, a "Sloka" is recited.

EXCHANGING GARLAND - The Bride stands and places a flower garland around the neck of the Groom. The Groom then shifts to the right seat of the "Manavarai", i.e. to his right. The Bride then sits to the left of the Groom. The Groom then places a garland around the neck of the Bride. This is to confirm that they have become united. Though they possess two (2) physical bodies, their lives are one in heart and soul. (Emudal Oor Uyir - Tamil.)

PAAL - PAZHAM - This is mixture of fruits in milk. The Bride feeds this concoction to the Groom and the Groom in turn reciprocates. This action is repeated in all three times.

SAPTHAPATHY SEVEN STEPS – The first seven steps taken by the bride led by the groom whilst holding her right foot, first toe and proceeding in a north-east direction towards the ‘Ammi’, builds a bondage of friendship. “That they may be inseparable during their lifetime and to lead a life without any hitches”. It is also a vow to show the caring and sharing attitude towards each other.

The first step means : “May the Lord provide food and clothing”.

The second means : "May the Lord bestow good health upon you."

The third means : "May the Lord bless you during your fast, prayers and sacrifice."

The fourth means : "May you be blessed with a joyous and happy life from hereinafter."

The fifth means: May the Lord bless the cows who may in turn supply plentiful milk (ghee, curd etc.) for your life."

The sixth means :"May the Lord bless you throughout the seasons."

The seventh means: "May the Lord be with you in all your undertakings together with me (your husband).

Now that you have completed the seven (7) steps, you have now become my companion and my friend. I too reciprocate.We shall understand each other's feelings and together we shall stick through thick and thin. This union of marriage is now confirmed. It cannot be revoked or terminated "Till death do us part."

AMMI MTTHITII'THAL - For the eight (8"') step after the "Sapthapathy," the Groom carries and places the right foot of the Bride on a rectangular granite stone mortar (Ammi). "You stand on this Stone, You must be as firm as this is, Even when you feel sad or in distress, To remind us that one must, Contain within oneself.". A granite stone pestle (Kuzhavi) is also used together to mean that one of these is useless by itself. Thus the "Ammi" and "Kuzhavi" work together. (NOTE: The reason why a metal is not used for this purpose is that it bends when a heavy load is placed on it or bends to form new shapes - malleable.)

LAAJA HOMAM - is the placing of padi/rice flakes into the "Homa Kundam" sacred fire pit by the Bride and Groom three times in all. The first on completion of the "Ammi Mithiththal," followed by the second round when the Theebam is shown to the Homam and the third after the "Arunthathi Kaaddal." This "Sacrificial Offering" is to wish for Longevity to build up the generation lineage for family well-being and for ample production of crops leading to a bountiful harvest of cereals.

ARLINTHATIII KAADDAL - Arunthathi, the Pole Star Thuruva asterism (star) is a fixed star in the sky. In the middle of a cluster of seven stars, she is minute but bright. Also called the "North Star" (as it is near the North Pole in the sky). Many navigators had used this Star as a guide to find the position and direct the course of a ship or aircraft (to set its course) for centuries. "Arunthathi" also means a lady who supports and is a follower of her husband. She was bom due to sacrificial duties performed by the Sage Meethathithi. She did not have to be tutored as she had possessed all the qualities of womanhood by nature.The qualities are : "Katpu" which means attractive, respectable and possess conjugal chastity as a wife of one; "Atcham" - the ability to foresee; "Adakkam" - disciplined; "Maanam" - shyness and "Neethi" -just and of high moral rectitude. She was the wife of Bhrama Rishi Sage Vashistar. Sage Vashistar together with six other Rishis (Kaachiappar, Ahthri, Bharathwajar, Visvamithrar, Gouthamar and Jamathagni) were elevated by the Lord to form the "Saptha" (seven Rishis) to form the seven stars in the sky. The spouses of all these "Saptha Rishis" were also elevated to form stars in the sky by the Lord. (All seven of them bear the name "Krithiga Devi" and possess the same qualities.) They named "Arunthathi" as their leader because of her exemplary integrity and worth. The showing of this Star is to tell her to live as "Arunthathi" in this living world and as one to possess the qualities of "Katpu", "Atcham," "Adakkam," "Maanam" and "Neethi.". In short the above exercise is to attain : "By paying homage and respect to you all seven "Krithiga Devis," please bless mine to be the eighth.

MAHA AASEERVATHAAM - is the blessing by the priest/s. The newly-weds hold a tray and after each "Stanza or Manthra" the priest places some tumeric-rice on the tray. They remind the couple to live by truth and the following oaths undertaken : that may their lives together be a fruitful one ; that they adhere to the "Vedas of the Hindu Religion" and may they prosper in their future endeavours and undertakings etc.

ARLIGU ARISI - is a mixture of tumeric-rice and Cynondon grass (Arugampull). Rice is our staple food."As the cereal that drops on the ground, bears shoots and regrows, likewise may the Couple live happily ever henceforth and may they also be blessed with many offsprings." (Cynondon grass often grows in clusters.)

NILA PAVADAI - This is the Eastern equivalent to a "red­carpet welcome" bestowed upon dignitaries. On alighting from the vehicle (transport), the Groom treads on this white cloth without a pair of shoes or slippers (i.e. barefooted), until he arrives at the front of the "Vaasal Niraikudam." If the "Manavarai" happens to be at the second storey (2 °d storey) level, then same is extended along the steps until the Stage at that level.

THE BRIDAL DAIS "MANAVARAI" - The Bridal Dais represents the "Rajagopuram" - the main entrance to a Hindu Temple. At the centre portion, below the "Gopuram" (Steeple), is the Bridal seat. It is here that the Bride and Groom sit. This seat represents the throne of Lord Siva and Sakthi (His consort) in the form of the Bride and Groom. This Bridal Dais may be rented or some people even modify a "settee" to represent one.However, the rental or cost of manufacture of this Bridal Dais, is borne by the Bride's party.

THE BRIDE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE GROOM - During the initial ceremonies, the Bride seated to the right side of the Groom, indicates success. Success here means that with the arrival of the Bride into the Groom's life she has brought along an achievement. The achievement here means the fulfilment of desires and aims derived to form a blissful married life.

THE BRIDE ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE GROOM - This position now represents the "Aarthaneeswara Roopam" (whereby Lord Siva is represented in the form of a half male and a half female - "Siva Sakthi Roobam"). This is to instil realization that they are now "equal halves" and should not be separated. Thus, until eternity, she is to be treated as his "better half." (During rites and rituals later, eg. House-warming ceremonies, Temple ceremonies etc. when both are participating, the Wife always stands to the left of her Husband.)

THE MULLU OR KALYANA MURUNGGAI - This is the branch of the Erythirina Indica tree. It is versatile and requires less or no water, manure or any other form of maintenance. It is a thorny, sturdy and a fecund tree. A white cloth is draped along the stem of the branch and is tied at seven parts to indicate the presence of the Saptha Kanni or the seven Krithiga Devis (see "Arunuthathi Kaaddal"). It is said that the seven Krithiga Devis were chased by "Asuras" (demons - the enemies of God). They hid behind a tree and chanted prayers. The tree was to have endured the Devis so as to protect their chastity. It is also said that that tree formed "eyes" - in the form of thorns to protect these Devis from evil. The tree is the "Mullu" or "Kalyana Mwunggai" (Erythirina Indica).

FOUR THIKKU BALAHAR KUMBAMS - These four (4) "Kumbams" are placed at the four (4) sides of the "Mullu" or "Kalyana Murunggai." They represent the different Regents of the four (4) main directions.

a Indran - placed in the East is the King of the "Devas" or Godly beings.

b Yaman - is the Regent deity of the South and the God of Death.

c Varunan - is the Regent deity of the West and God of Clouds and Rain.

d Kuberan - is the Regent deity of the North and God of the Gateway to Heaven.

AAGNI SAATCHI AND GOING AROUND THE AAGNIHOTHRA SACRED FIRE - Aagni or Fire is a purifier of impurities. The God of Fire or "Aagnithevan" is one who stimulates or excites feelings. Going around this "Aagni" is of paramount importance to bind the union. This also reminds the Groom that he has now achieved a state of eminence, superiority and respect by achieving this wedded-state."It is the smoke and fire that joined you. If there are any wrong-doings, the same smoke and fire shall engulf you."

By going around this sacred Fire culminates the final vows of marriage.